My Twitter War with Roseanne Barr (Or How I Spent my Winter Vacation)

So here’s a story I never thought I’d be telling. Yet, for those who know me well, there is somehow nothing surprising about it. It’s also worth noting that this entire chain of events occurred while vacationing at my parent’s house in Florida.

As the hellstorm that was 2017 drew to a close, I wrote an ode of optimism to 2018, highlighting my excitement about the upcoming Roseanne revival because it was (and, really, still is) one of my all-time favorite shows.

But within a day or so of publishing the original post, I added the following update:

No sooner do I publish this than do I see #BoycottRoseanne trending. So I’m like, “OK, I know she was all ‘Roseanne for President’ and pretty much a dick around election season last year but I’m willing to separate the art from the artist for six episodes on basic cable.” But little did I know that Roseanne has far bypassed any Susan Sarandon-ness and truly LOST HER DAMN MIND. Check out @therealroseanne for a descent into the inner depths of #MAGA. I’m talking about Twitter being straight up like, “If you follow this you should follow James Woods, Mike Cernovich, and Scott Baio!” I’m talking about #TrumpTaxScam commentary like “They are mad because tax cuts are mostly for working class people.” I’m talking about retweeting ROGER STONE YOUTUBE VIDEOS, conspiracy theory memes, and Russian bot accounts with names like “Trump’s Army.”

Growing up, I watched Roseanne with my mom. I watched through high school and even enjoyed the final bizarro season mostly due to cameos by Eddie and Patsy from ABFAB. There was at least one year in college where every day in between classes I would come back to my weird townhouse living room, heat up a bowl of Progresso soup, and watch Roseanne reruns. 

Anyway, you guys, I am just really bummed. It looks like this #BoycottRoseanne thing is no joke – it’s like some next level #GrabYourWallet organized stuff that I can’t just be like “But BECKY!!!” Because, alas, then I will just be a Becky. So bring on the spoilers – 2018 just got a shade darker for me. ????

I tweeted out my update along with the #boycottroseanne hashtag and tagged Ms. Barr herself – as one often does with celebrities expecting zero response. I also noticed a particularly disturbing tweet in her timeline which I felt compelled to reply to. I went to bed and woke up to my Twitter blowing up. Apparently, a lot happened in the middle of the night.

Basically, Roseanne retweeted a bunch of stuff in my timeline – including a blog post that was primarily about how to get more Democrats elected in 2018 – blocked me, reported me for harassment (?), and caused a backlash follower spree in my favor led by #theresistance.

So that was kinda cool. I got about 600 new followers in 24 hours and apparently really got under Roseanne’s skin. In fact, the next day, it was widely reported in the national press that I, and a few other Tweeters with the same concerns, caused Roseanne to “threaten retirement over Twitter-feuding with liberals.”

Girl, Bye! If only a few good sense tweets could force a crooked politician to retire.

Needless to say, I was like “You’re welcome?” But in reality, I was genuinely sad that she had become so clearly unwell and frankly dangerous in her hateful and fearmongering rhetoric.

Anyway, it gets weirder.

Apparently, her publicist and other concerned parties ripped the phone from her hand, deleted her whole timeline, and tweeted that she was “only retiring from Twitter” with a pinned tweet about how excited she was for the new season of her show.

Funny how we can’t hope for so much from the handlers of @POTUS, but I digress.

Tom Arnold, Roseanne’s ex-husband and a vocal anti-Trump #resister  (and “Arnie” on Roseanne) chimed in on Twitter to ask Roseanne to calm down (clearly no love lost there).

So I jumped into the chain of replies – again, expecting nothing – but then Tom made a pretty damn funny joke.

Cue more followers. Including Tom himself!

Now, you have to understand that I am here for the follows. With a wider audience, I can broaden my reach for the messages I am passionate about sharing. I can lobby for candidates and policy, share news about my clients, amplify blog posts, and maybe even get a few book and Beautycounter sales.

My mission may seem scattered but it really all comes down to one key message: do the most good I can while making enough money to survive and not go crazy. That’s it. Trademark it. It’s all-encompassing and full circle. And, sometimes, when you poke a virtual stick at a celebrity doing some real counter-productive nonsense, it can translate into the most surprising of wins.

When my plane touched down in Philadelphia on New Year’s Eve I received a message from my most loyal and longtime nonprofit client that they had received a nice donation from a Tom Arnold in California.

OK, so it turns out it wasn’t actually him. I found out two days later it was a different Tom Arnold in CA. So Fake News alert everyone – sorry for spreading it!

But still, if you would have told me 20 years ago that Tom Arnold would turn out to be the champion for progressive values that soothed my soul for the coming year, I would have told you there was a better chance of Donald Trump becoming president.

Now, if Tom would only release those tapes…

p.s. Friends have been tagging me in the below clip like crazy. Yes, Roseanne, I will explain you to you:

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